This brunette is definitely not out of debt. The title is mostly just wishful thinking. Or, as I've been told, the 'truth in advance.' At the time I heard it, I felt like it was a fancy way of saying that you're lying. After you've spent six years in the sales industry, you learn things like that.
At 30 years old, I am not where I would have expected myself to be. My only consolation is that I'm probably not the first (or last) person to have said that. I find myself unemployed, unable to afford to live on my own and in the hole about $30,000 or so. I'm not even sure, anymore, that actual amount. It's depressing to look at my credit report.
Yet, I don't actually think any of those are my biggest problem. I think my problem is that I am almost voluntarily the worst employee you could hire. And it's not because I'm lazy and untrustworthy. It's because if you hire me, I'm going to want to take your job and run your business for you.
I had an opportunity to work for a company for two years that changed me for ever. Although I learned a great deal of truly positive things there, that godforsaken company has the most piss poor reputation I've ever seen. I eventually left because of how it was run, and although I tried to find more ethical ways to go about things, the owner was adamant that he was going to run it the way it was started over 30 years ago. It was an ancient business plan. One that was not forthcoming to the people they hired. Many secrets were kept and they trick people into thinking they'll earn x amount of money and have this job title and responsibilities. When in reality, you're being hired as a contractor and you're earning only commissions and your responsibilities include paying for office rent and a secretary's wages, whom you have to hire yourself. After working there for two years and realizing I was lying to people, I had to leave.
The problem? They had taught me how to be an entrepreneur. They had taught me how to run a business, how to be responsible, how to be in charge, how to lead people, how to do taxes so you earn your money before giving it to the government. They taught me how to be free. Now, I'm the worst employee out there.
The 2.5 jobs I've had since then has proven that to me. And I'll get to that '.5' in a minute. The job I had right after that was working at the front desk of a hotel. Loved the job, hated the way the business was being run. Not only were they running it illegally (paid under the table, employees had to front the costs for promotional events, etc), but they had a deplorable way of training new people, no handbooks to refer to, hypocritical people in charge. It killed me inside to not tell the owner off and take over how things were being operated.
After that I worked for a ceramic studio, where you can go in and paint your own mugs and pottery. Same problem. They just weren't doing anything the way that I would. I wasn't surprised at all when I was let go. A part of me wasn't even sad, either.
The '.5' job I had after that was 10 months of hell. I worked as a live-in nanny for a family that was falling apart. They made a crap load of money, though, so that offered me a small weekly salary and a free place to live. Their kids were unbearable. I almost quit at least 10 times and the worst day was probably when their youngest threw a temper tantrum and squirted her juice box at me in the car while I was driving.
This is the purpose of the title of this entry. I don't ever want to have another job again. Unfortunately, that leaves me depending on other people while I am in school. Definitely not the position I would have expected at this age, and definitely not what I would prefer for the time being. I started selling AVON a few months ago, though, so at least I have some form of income. I plan on eventually using this as my full time income, but I know that is going to be several years down the road.
So while I have so much free time, here I am. Blogging to the universe about how I'm possibly going to survive until I can achieve my real American Dream. Which is a huge purple bedroom. In my own house.